Saturday, April 9, 2016

I've Been Tagged!

  So while I was mulling over what to write about for my Sunday blog I happened to check out Jonathan's new blog post and found out that I had been tagged. Thus, not only do I get to do my first tagging game in the blogosphere, but I also got a post idea to boot. Thanks, Jonathan! XD

  Without further ado...


  Evidently, most people taking part in this tag have not been able to come up with, literally, "just a fact". And I don't blame them, after all it's really hard to come up with one thing about yourself that's interesting enough to fill an entire blog post. But hey, I feel like I must be a semi-interesting person, and, since I'm a writer, I should be able to depict myself as such, right?

  Right.

  In any case, I'm going to attempt to follow the rule of this tag and just come up with one thing. We'll see how it goes. :P

  Guidelines:

  • Take the banner and paste it to your post.
  • Tell a single, meaningful fact about who you are.
  • Explain this fact as open, and explanatory as you can.
  • Tag at least one other blogger, and give a reason why you think they should do this.
  • Add a Bible verse to close out this tag.
  • Thank the blogger who tagged you.
  • Have fun!

  Alright, so here it goes...

  One, single, lonely, earth-shattering fact about me.

  This probably won't be too much of a surprise to people, but I have been super shy and quiet all my life. 

  Yeah, I know, crazy. Like you couldn't have guessed that from me being a writer/homeschooler/farmkid/artsy person. :P

  There's more to it than just that though, which is where I'm going to dig a little deeper into myself, get a little philosophical maybe. Bear with me if you will.

  Growing up quiet and shy isn't too bad really, sure you'll often get asked "why are you so quiet?" and you'll probably here the sarcastic joke "hey Emily, you're SOOOO loud, you really need to tone it down." And then you'll laugh along for the thousandth time and try not to grit your teeth too hard. Sometimes you'll get pushed out of your comfort zone to speak in front of a group or be a camp counselor leading bedtime devotionals or whatever. Of course there are hiccups in the road, but that's just part of life in general, which, even for quiet people, isn't too darn bad. 

  The trouble with being quiet and shy comes when you combine it with being an extremely introverted introvert. And I do mean extreme. Like, to the point where, even when I'm with people I love and want to talk to, my internal thoughts take over and I can't get out of my head. I just keep thinking and thinking and thinking myself in circles. It's pretty bad to be honest. 

  I am waaaaay too introspective. I guess that's why I'm a writer. I just have so much trouble speaking my thoughts aloud. I'm pretty bad at communication. It's not that I'm inarticulate or anything, I don't have a speech impediment and my tongue hasn't been cut out. I just kind of loathe talking to people sometimes. 

  This often gets me in trouble with my parents because I simply don't feel like telling them about this or that event in my life. That also happens with friends and gets awkward. Sometimes I'll get into a debate or argument and just shut down because I don't want to make a response, even if I have thousands of replies swirling in my head, I just don't feel like saying them. I hate that because then it makes the other party think they beat me, which rubs on my nerves. I suck at small-talk. And not just sucking, but like, I just refuse to participate in it most of the time. Either that or I'll start/continue it and then change it to something weird and worth talking about. 

  I spend a lot of time just running through things in my head, whether they be aspects of life I'm considering, story things, things I've read or seen in the media, things in my life, things in the future, things in the past. Often my head is literally anywhere but where I actually am. Throughout the course of my life, while that has helped me I think in many ways to become a well-rounded, thoughtful and (hopefully) more intelligent individual, I think it has been somewhat harmful too. 

  I've never had a great affinity or capability with staying in the present. Along with that, I haven't had too much in the way of a future to look forward to for most of my life either. So, taking away the future and the present leaves me the past. And you know what happens to people who spend a lot of time thinking about the past? They become sad, lonely, nostalgic, depressed...basically full of longing for something they can't ever go back to. That definitely does something to a person. I know it did to me. 

  I spent a majority of my early-mid teens being rather depressed about life. Not to the point of being suicidal or anything, just to the point of being sad. I spent most of my time in my room, alone, not really sure what to do with myself. I had my three passions of course, but they were just hobbies to me, and I didn't know how to spend my time when I constantly just wanted to go backwards. That's kind of a dangerous way to think...

  Thankfully, some of my circumstances have changed in the past almost two years and I am beginning to be free of this. Yes, I am still shy and quiet and introspective, but I also find myself living in the present a lot more. Where before I could spend weeks at a time without leaving our farm I now find myself driven by a need to do something and am I pleased to have that desire. It has made me happier and more productive and more capable. I feel better and more fulfilled, I have things to look forward to and things to keep me occupied, and that is a wonderful feeling.

  Ah! There you have it. One whole fact to take up a blog post! I did it. *grins* Now, I am supposed to tag people. Hehe...well, seeing as I'm only really even sorta close to two bloggers around here and one of said bloggers already tagged me it looks like Abigayle will be the one I'm tagging. I would love to hear what kind of a fact (or facts) she comes up with!

  With the topic of my fact I suppose it would only be fitting to share my favorite Bible verse with y'all: 

  "There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off." - Proverbs 23:18

  It's been a message of inspiration for me through difficult times and hopefully it can be the same for you. 

  So thanks again to Jonathan for saving my butt this weekend and tagging me here. It was a really fun and cool idea and I definitely enjoyed it. 

  Can you guys share one defining fact of yourself? Something that may seem simple at first but is really intrinsic to your personal character? Tell me below. 

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